Paper Wars
by Dream Eternity
Summary: Something even fishier than Kisamie is going on in the akatsuki base, and Konan's smack bang! in the middle of it. Pain's pulled a horrible prank once again again...


Konan walked out of her room infuriated, slamming the door shut with such force, causing objects to fall off the walls and quiver on their shelves. You could literally see the waves of anger emerging from her body still, with an intent to kill whoever dared to cross her.

The other badly beaten, half dead akatsuki members huddled back up in the closest corner. Trying not to whimper or make a single sound, in fear of the previous events that might take place again. They were truly terrified of the monster standing before them.

_No_, she wasn't even considered a woman any more by the way she had nearly killed most of nins, unleashing her full wrath, horrifically to the point that even the immortals thought they were on the verge of death.

The males really didn't want to end up as their Leader-sama, a pile on the ground who was now beyond reignition.

But... _Why was Konan so pissed off?_

___________**Earlier On**___________

The blue haired missing-nin gritted her teeth, 'Pain, why won't you listen to what I'm saying seriously! Get that fucking smirk off your face, this is important! We've located where the-'

'BAHAHAHAHAHAHA'

'WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?!?' Konan slammed her fists on the desk before her, causing it to nearly snap in half.

She tried again with her explanation, leaning over the desk until she was about two inches from his face.

'Leader, please take this seriously, in order to-', but she was once again rudely interrupted by her superior trying not to choke on his own tongue - though he had obviously failed and had began engaging in another traumatising fit of laughter.

Konan just leaned back and glared at her cachinnating partner, trying to resist the urge to punch him in the face. She stormed out of the room in rage, passing other akatsuki members on the way out and eyeing them suspiciously, all of them having the same problem that her leader had.

As she stomped by, seeing them try to hide their grins, and trying even harder to silence their laughter, decided to find out what the big joke is today by using any means possible, and why she was the only one who didn't get it. Whoever pulled the prank and left her out was surely going to die in an act of painful paper cuts to the eyeballs.

Deciding it would be best to retreat to her room for now and try and work out what was so funny.

Collapsing on her bed with her eyebrows furrowed, Konan began to enter into a deep thought, mumbling to herself 'What could possibly be so funny that made our Leader laugh - and not pay attention to what I was saying?! Pain, Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara, Tobi, Zetsu... and even _Itachi_ had a smirk on his face! Seriously, nothing could make that emotionless bastard laugh...'

Just thinking about it was giving Konan a brain tumour, so she decided it was time to take action.

Konan walked down the hideouts gloomy corridors again, glad there was no one around to laugh at her any more.

But the silence was soon to be ruined, as she rounded the corner to see a tall blue figure. 'Kisamie, can you PLEASE enlighten me on the joke everyone is having and WHY I am left out of it?' She demanded, walking out of nowhere to be in front of him.

Kisamie stared at her, and began to smile showing is ragged shark teeth, it was truly a creepy sight.

'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Now I see what everyone has been talking about!'

A vein popped out of place on her perfect face and her eyes began to fill with fury, 'KISAMIE, DAMNIT TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!' Konan screeched at him.

She lifted her sleeved up and grabbed the shark-man by his abnormally large collar, pulled him down to her height and just stared at him intensely. No woman suffering from a hundred years worth of PMS was as scary as Konan right now.

Kisamie lifted his large hands up in surrender, then began to smile and snigger, 'I think its best if you saw for yourself.'

'What does that mean?' She questioned him.

He pointed to the bathroom, 'Look in the mirror.'

Konan stared at him dumbfounded, but did as he said. As she walked away Itachi and Pain came and stood beside him.

'I'd watch out you two...', Kisamie warned them, 'She's about to find out what the big joke was.' A loud 'gulp' sound came from their leader, and Itachi even shifted under his own weight uncomfortably.

'...'

SMASH...CRASH...

_The door knob turned..._

_It rattled, but the door wouldn't open..._

_Obviously Konan was too enraged to remember to undo the lock... So..._

She raised her leg and kicked the wooden panelling and the bathroom door swung open off its hinges, almost knocking out a passing Hidan.

Everyone stood there paralysed with fear (though still trying not to laugh) and watched her fume...

**'WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE A PENIS DRAWN ON MY FOREHEAD?'** Konan screamed out, she severely hoped that this was Itachi's genjutsu.

'You forgot about the fuzzy eyebrows... the nerd glasses and Hitler's moustache-' Kisame added on.

'WHY IS THIS SHIT DRAWN ON MY FACE?'

Hidan couldn't control himself after having his face implanted into the door, 'HAHAHAHA, she looks like even more a freak than fish-guy over there!' He blurted out.

'What's that suppose to mean!?' Kisame mumbled depressingly.

Konan turned around slowly, a dark aura of pure killing intent swirling in the atmosphere, glared at Hidan.

Hidan hid behind Kakuzu, for he knew Lord Jashin couldn't save him now.

For everyone knew, even the immortal ones, that they were going to be _die._

_____________**Earlier, EARLIER on**______________

Pain sat there at his desk, fumbling around for piece of paper and a pen.

Well just a piece of paper really, he already had a pen. But all the paper had been apparently used; probably by Konan with her never ending origami. An important report was due to be written for Mada- the person he worked for.

Alas! He found a piece!

The leader began to write his report.

Concentrating as hard as he possibly could at what to write next, he looked down at his three paragraphs on the paper. _It moved._

'What the fu-' The paper moved again and began to wiggle along the desk, trying to escape from his grasp.

The red heads eyes bulged and his face expressed utmost terror. 'OH SHIT, I JUST WROTE ON KONAN'

Panicking, Pain tried to rub out what he had wrote, but failed; all he did was cause the ink to smudge all over the sheet.

He sat there in shock, a drop of sweat running down his face as he was imagining his death, if Konan noticed apart of her had been scribbled on. Oh how he wished he had used a pencil instead...

Realising his fate now, he might as well make a joke out of it. The akatsuki member began to doodle and draw stupid and inappropriate things on the paper. Some glasses, a moustache, fuzzy eyebrows, swirly cheek thingos, a pile of dog crap, pimples and warts of the kind and finally a great big penis on top.

Pain sat there and admired his work, now all he hoped for was this piece of paper was apart of Konan's face.

What luck head had too...


End file.
